As parents, we often encounter triggers when our children subject us to situations that might seem uncomfortable. It can be a scream, a tantrum in a supermarket, or repeated requests for something. Oftentimes, these triggers lead us to a point where we feel overwhelmed, causing us to operate from our programmed self rather than our true self.
In these moments, we might find ourselves responding to our children the way our own parents responded to us.
By taking the time to contemplate and slow down our responses, we can reparent ourselves. Responding consciously ( see concious parenting) and observing the voice of our parents running in our heads allows us to let that voice go without judgment, enabling us to build stronger family bonds.
Tactics for Responding Consciously
Pause and Breathe: When you feel triggered, take a moment to pause and breathe deeply. .
Identify the Trigger: Reflect on what exactly is triggering your response. Is it the noise, the behavior, or perhaps a deeper, unresolved issue from your own childhood?
Self-Reflection: Ask yourself why this particular situation is causing such a strong reaction. Understanding your own emotional triggers can help you respond more thoughtfully.
Stay Present: Focus on the present moment and your child’s current needs, rather than letting past experiences dictate your response.
Empathize with Your Child: Try to see the situation from your child’s perspective. Understanding their feelings and motivations can help you respond with compassion rather than frustration.
Positive Reinforcement: Reinforce positive behaviour by acknowledging and praising your child’s efforts and good behaviour. This encourages them to repeat those behaviours.
Set Clear Boundaries: Calmly and clearly communicate your expectations and the consequences of not meeting them. Consistent boundaries help children feel secure and understand limits.
Model Calm Behavior: Demonstrate how to handle frustration and anger calmly. Children learn a lot from observing their parents’ behaviour.
Seek Support: If certain triggers are particularly challenging, consider seeking support from a parenting coach or therapist. Professional guidance can provide personalized strategies and support.
Practice Self-Care: Ensure you care for your physical and emotional needs. Parenting is demanding, and taking time for self-care can improve your overall well-being and patience.